Doubting myself

My B-day Party. Who knew a month later I would get my last relaxer?

For some reason last week I was having a hard time sticking to my decision to big chop this Thursday. It has been a week or so since I took my kinky twist out and I was back to my roller set routine. This time things were so much easier for me. I'm not sure if it was due to renewed patience or the new purchased headbands. I was able to finally rock my roller set for more then 3 days. I actually wore it for 6 days which is close to my normal wash day. My excitement over been able to manage my hair could of cause me to start doubting myself and my decision.
For the entire week, I sat and debate about whether or not I would still big chop at the end of June. I thought about how short my hair would be and then the reaction of my coworkers. I work in a very conservative office and I am so sensitive to the stares and comments. Putting off my BC until August seemed do-able again (It was my original BC day - 6 months transitioning). I started thinking, "why rush it?" After I washed my hair on Thursday, I decided to flat iron my hair for the last time before I was completely natural. It was me saying goodbye to my hair. Then I started to think, "hey if I can flat iron it like this then when I go to the beach, I can still manage my hair - no need to cut it."

I guess I need to rewind a bit. This weekend I'm going to MIA (South Beach). Definitely would like to go swimming while I'm there. But I could not imagine how I would care for my hair once it was wet. Can't really tote a hairdryer on an airplane. So I thought that BCing would be the best choice. And it still is because my natural hair was curly again once I went outside in the humidity.

All this to say, that my thoughts on what other people would think and what other people were telling me were getting in the way of what I wanted to do. Never should you let what people think stop you from doing something positive for you. So 3 more days of transitioning and by the end of the week I'll be natural. Yeah Babay!