DIY Side Combs for TWA

Some of the headbands that I've brought are over powering for my TWA. While some naturals can rock the hell out of them, I think they swallow my head. I got the idea the other day while going through my hair basket full of accessories and products, I found some side combs that I haven't even used yet. I then remembered that I had some loose pearls stashed somewhere in the closet. Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by beads, scissors, pliers, and a hot glue gun. Today I wore my creation and quickly ran to the store after work to get some more beads and flowers. Here are all my creations. . .

1 month and growing . . . .

Yesterday marked my 1st month of being natural. I can already tell my hair has grown. My wash and go's were not coming out the same way as before. It seemed as if my curls were just stacking up on top of each other not really giving themselves enough space to breathe. I finally feel comfortable enough to wear a headband. I am so super excited! Some naturals with TWA rock headbands with such grace and confidence but my headbands always looked like a phony. Now my TWA and headband are joining forces in my war against drab style. This weekend I even wore my Fro fully picked out. One of my homies told me I looked like Cleoparta Jones and even though my Fro is still in baby form, I felt like I had the biggest baddest Fro in the building. You couldn't tell me nothin'.

Music Mondays: Marvin Gaye's Distant Lover Live

I'm starting a new section on the blog. Okay really a couple of new sections but more on that later in the week. I love music and I think it really can affect your current mood. Music has brighten up my day and it was helped bring tears to my eyes. Anytime I'm having a hard time and I need to escape I turn to music. I actually wanted to be a singer when I was younger but I settle for writing (not really a good singer but I don't think I'm terribly bad). So here is my first song for Music Mondays. It has to be my favorite song of all time. I have a lot of favorite songs but I remember falling in love with this one at such a young age and of course it was THIS version. I've never had a "distant lover" because I don't believe in long distant relationships but I do LOVE the emotion from the crowd and from Mr. Gaye. He's a tremendous singer and I only wish that one time in my life I could have seen him perform. Well enough talking. . . enjoy

Men: Do they really know about natural hair?

Probably every natural, every transitioner and woman that thought about about going natural has surely thought about what the opposite sex would say about her decision. I know for one I thought about it. But I wasn't going to allow any negative remarks to deter me from what i wanted to do. 

Hair lingers on the line of being an important quality and something that does cross a man's mind as long as the woman possesses a beautiful smile or personality. I remember when I told the guy in my life I was going natural and he didn't have much to say. Upon later conversations I realized he didnt have any idea of what being natural consisted of. He imagined a unstyled dry fro replacing my straight hair. He assumed women with natural hair refused to style their hair taking it back to the stone age. I quickly informed him of what I planned to do and started showing him women with natural hair and he realized that natural hair is beautiful. He even started pointing out natural women to me while we were out and about. He even made jokes about women on boxes of relaxers and with weaves saying,"Now that's not natural". Unfortunately we didn't work and he never got to see me with my TWA. 

The day before my BC, a guy I'd known for a couple months asked for my number. I laughed. He looked at me puzzled and I started to explain how I was going to cut my hair down to 2 inches indicating where my natural hair started on head. He asked why and I told him I wanted to be natural. He shrugged his shoulders and continue to wait for my number. I felt tension the next time I saw him with my new short do. I know that some guys hate short hair and I didn't want him to obviously reject me because he didn't find me attractive. While he would just be one guy and it would be his opinion, the rejection would hurt. He questioned me about my hair not quite coming out and saying he didn't like it. From what I could gather, he just doesn't like my short hair. He wonders why i didn't wait for it to get long before I cut it and I tried to explain but he didn't listen. All this to say i think that men have no idea what natural hair is. Some are miseducated about what our hair will look like. Some have no idea about the stress of the transition process and reject the idea of the big chop when mentioned.

Men and natural hair remind me of a conversation that I had with one of my guy friends. 

Me: So what should I wear?
Him: That purple skirt.
Me: Purple skirt . . . .I don't have a purple skirt. 
Him: Yea, you do. You wore it for your friend's birthday.
Me: My purple dress . . . .
Him: Dress. Skirt. It's all the same. 
Me: No, a skirt begins at the waist and a dress is a connected top and bottom. 
Him: No, a skirt is short and a dress is long. 

At this point I just threw my hands up and gave up. Men have no idea. So, for those worried about the men in their lives, sit down with them and have a conversation about what they think. Educate them. Wear our natural hair is a pretty new phenomenon and some men haven't been expose to it. Communication may help to wipe away some of the fears that you both have.

The end of the transition and the beginning of a new journey

Despite the doubts I had, I stuck to my guns and big chopped on June 24th. And I have to say, I love it! My life has been so much easier now that I'm completely natural. The end result was much better than the experience unfortunately. I went to a stylist to get my hair cut. I had the choice between doing it myself or going a natural hair salon. I'm a big DIYer but I decided I wanted a professional cut and I for one can't cut a straight line drawn on a piece of paper. I could just imagine the misshapen Fro I would create. I chose to go with my stylist over the natural hair salon because my stylist is also natural and I like her.

And this is where the adventure begins . . . . so I've come to realize that there are several different kinds of naturals. Some that rock their curly, coily texture, those that chose to wear their hair straight and those that mingle between the two. Now when I was natural in high school my hair was always pressed. My hair would of course curl up living in humid GA but I try to keep it straight. When I originally decided to go back to natural, my plan was to wear it straight. Mainly because I was unaware how to wear and care for my natural texture.

My stylist like I said is natural but she is a natural that wears her hair straight. I even think that she had straighten her hair to the point where it doesn't curl anymore. Is that heat damage? I guess. Maybe. So instead of being super excited about my big chop, she tried to discourage me. She could understand why I was doing it and what I was going to do with my 2 inches of coils. She seemed a little disgusted saying, "I couldn't wear an afro". I thinking that's the best part of being natural. I love big 'Fros. Well suffice it to say, I was pissed the entire time she was cutting my hair. I had my girls with me and they tried to cheer me up but this was not the kind of experience I expected. If I would've gone to the natural hair salon, I feel like my big chop would have been celebrated instead of questioned. We live and we learn. I won't be giving her my money anymore which might be the reason she acted with so much guff.

But I'm natural now baby and I'm loving it. I haven't experience too much negativity. It's all out weighted by the compliments I've been receiving.